| Stephen Lewis: Yep, he’s ready for the Super Bowl |
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By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
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Posted: Sunday, February 7, 2010 6:47 am
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If you're reading this then you must be alive. And if you're alive then it's about a 95 percent chance that at some point today you will watch part of the Super Bowl.
Even if you're only watching it for the commercials, you'll be tuned in at some point. Over the years the Super Bowl has grown into an epic event. It is the basis for millions of parties and get-togethers around the world. And for those who like to wager, it's a gambling paradise.
You can bet on the outcome of the game, the total points scored, and even the number of touchdowns Peyton Manning will throw. You can bet on the halftime score, how long it takes the national anthem to be sang, or how many times Archie Manning is shown on TV. If you can think of it, you can most likely gamble on it.
But what if you're not a football fan and you still want to place a few wagers? That's where I can help. With a quick call to my book ... I mean, my friend Vito, I can get your bets in for events other than the game itself.
For instance, you can bet on how many chicken wings you think I will eat during the game. I'm ordering 50 from Toot's and I'm setting the over/under at 32. If you think I'll eat more or less than 32 you can place a bet on that.
You can also bet on how many ribs I'll eat during the game. I've ordered two racks of Boy Scout ribs. That is to say I've ordered the ribs from the Boy Scouts and they're not actually the ribs from a Boy Scout. You understand that I'm not a cannibal, right? I mean, for heaven's sake, I was a Cub Scout at one time. I don't even remember there being a cannibal badge. There was the wolf, the bobcat, the bear and the weebelo, but I don't think there was a cannibalism badge. I suppose if there had been one I might have tried to get it. My mom always said I'll eat anything.
With Drew Brees and Peyton Manning at quarterback, there will certainly be plenty of passing in this Super Bowl. And at my house with all that food being consumed there is sure to be some passing of gas during the game. You can wager on when you think the first passing will be. And just so you know, either end counts when deciding the first passing. You can also bet on when it will get so bad my wife finally leaves the room. The over/under on that is midway through the second quarter.
I'll be watching the game from underneath an electric blanket while sitting on a recliner in my living room. I always keep the blanket on high and usually have anywhere from one to three dogs lying on top of me. You can place a wager on when you think I'll finally get so hot I scream, "Get these #*!% dogs off of me!"
And finally, since this Super Bowl will most likely be of Peyton Manning lovefest you can wager on which quarter I will finally throw a pillow at the TV and yell," #!%* Peyton Manning!" The over/under on that is 10 minutes before kickoff.
Even if you don't want to place a bet on the game, or me, I hope you enjoy the game. In fact, it comes on in just under 11 hours so I better turn the TV on to catch the pre-game. Now if these dogs will get up so I can reach the remote control..."unnnhhhhh, come here you stupid remote...oooops!!!!" Excuse me. If you had 11 hours before game time for the first passing you're a winner! |
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